Welcome back to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown! Today we recap Breaker High, episode 10: “Rooming Violations.”
We start out on the ship with a sequence that I truly cannot tell whether or not it’s a dream. Literally everyone is complimenting Cassidy, Tamira talks about how she’s never had a boyfriend (okay that might be true), and Max is keeping Alex and Ashley apart on purpose because “she’s out of his league” (I would argue the opposite), so they get into a fistfight. This is apparently the third time this week they’ve gotten into it, so Captain Ballard is changing their room assignment, and given the episode title, at this point I think it’s real. Jimmy immediately volunteers to be Max’s new bunkmate, which presumably puts Alex with Sean.
When Sean finds Jimmy packing up his things in what was their cabin, he takes Jimmy’s departure pretty personally, though he pretends he’s not or at least tries not to show it (the sad music we get in the background says otherwise). Jimmy says he liked rooming with Sean but thinks bunking with Max will teach him how to be a total babe magnet (might have to be by osmosis, buddy; I somehow don’t think Max is going to actually take you under his wing for that). True, Jimmy isn’t going very far, but I can see why Sean is hurt, especially since Jimmy didn’t talk to him about it first.
We cut to the coffeehouse, where Tamira is being chatted up by Eric, who we’ve never seen before (though he kind of looks like Max’s clone). He asks her on a picnic, and all she can do is squeak. Luckily he takes it well, and the date is officially on.
Jimmy is officially Max’s new bunkmate and decides that the best first impression would be to walk up to Max while the latter is playing his guitar and jam along with his kazoo, to which Max obviously responds with an expression of horror. Things only get worse when Jimmy spots a framed photo of Max with a girl, says “Who’s that hottie?” and kisses it, only to find out it’s Max’s little sister. Max is not taking this well, saying "Separate rooms?” after Jimmy asks “You know what we need?”, so Jimmy tries to save face with the 1997 version of a selfie, taking a picture of the two of them with a digital camera and getting very excited to show it to everyone.
We cut to the girls’ cabin, where Ashley is flabbergasted that Tamira has a date with Eric. Cassidy shushes her, realizing that the teasing is only making Tamira feel more insecure. The following conversation shows just how contradictory the expectations for girls on dates are: Cassidy says to have fun, crack jokes, and be silly, but Denise chimes in with “Not too silly, you don’t want him to think you’re an airhead.” I could write a whole syllabus on the “Show him your intellectual side”; “Why? Most guys aren’t that smart” exchange, especially when followed by Jimmy’s ramblings out in the hallway and the resulting smirks on the girls’ faces. America-Ferrera-in-the-Barbie-movie prototype where?
Uh oh. We find Eric on deck playing basketball, and when asked if he really has a date with the freakezoid, he responds with, “It’s not a date, I’m just doing Cassidy a favor.” He tells his friend to come by half an hour into the picnic with some sort of excuse to get him out of there, and of course Ashley overhears the whole thing. Kind of wish she’d had a frown on her face instead of a smile, but we’ll see where this goes.
Elsewhere on the deck, Sean finds Jimmy to let him know he’s got tickets for a movie they’ve been wanting to see, but Jimmy’s mind is clearly elsewhere as he scans the deck for Max, not even looking at Sean as he’s talking. Not exactly being the best friend here, Jimmy; I have a feeling it’s going to come back to bite you.
Oh, this next scene is just sad. In the coffeehouse, three girls are ready to get up and leave when Jimmy sits, but stay put when he says he’s Max’s roommate. Of course, Jimmy’s shirt that he clearly borrowed from Max, which means it’s too small on him, rips as Max approaches, and obviously Max isn’t too thrilled that his shirt is ruined. Sean comes in hot right after that, because Jimmy blew him off at the movies even after Sean let the first two snubs go. Gotta say, Jimmy, your response of “Max and I think monster movies are lame,” is probably the worst thing you could’ve said; it’s enough for Sean to declare their friendship officially over.
We cut to the picnic, where Tamira tries to be cute by blowing a straw wrapper into Eric’s face, but only winds up poking him with it instead. So when he doesn’t like her being silly, she pivots immediately into sharing a “fun fact,” which he doesn’t find very amusing either. And she knows it, too, acknowledging out loud that she thought he’d be different and not look at her like some kind of walking Picasso. Somehow it’s this reference that snags him, and Eric says, “I go to museums all the time. What, did you think I was some kind of dumb jock?” After Tamira says, “No, I’m not into judging people,” he may actually have a change of heart from earlier - his friend shows up claiming he has a phone call, and Eric says, “Take a message, I’ll call them back,” and shoos him away. They wind up playing basketball, which leads to a tickle fight, and then Eric kisses her and holds her hand afterward. All I can say is this better be real.
We cut to Jimmy and Max’s room, where we find Jimmy talking on Max’s phone and saying things like, “Of course I’ll tell him. I love you too,” to who he says was Max’s mom?! Max is annoyed? Suspiscious? when he notes that Jimmy hung up before Max had a chance to talk to her, but seems to believe it’s true when Jimmy starts talking about a childhood nickname that Max won’t allow him to say. Jimmy then excitedly tells Max he tuned his guitar for him - as we might expect, it sounds awful. At this point, Max is tired of simply ignoring Jimmy’s antics and says, “I am not your friend. I never will be your friend.” Again with the terrible response, Jimmy says, “Someone gets a little tired around bedtime, eh Maxie-moo?” and Max’s face says it all.
Tamira walks in to her and Ashley’s room with a smile on her face, and Ashley immediately has a secret-keeping look on her own. Tamira starts gushing about the date, ending with “Nothing you can say can ruin this night,” and instead of keeping her mouth shut Ashley has to share, “Eric only asked you out because Cassidy asked him to do her a favor.” Given that she doesn’t know what happened on the date, it’s hard to tell if she said that to deliberately be mean or to protect Tamira - even if those words hurt now, it’d be even worse later.
Sean has found a new person to hang out with, Tim, who at least looks a lot like Jimmy, so when Jimmy finds them in the coffeehouse, it’s easy for Sean to pretend Tim is Jimmy’s replacement. But as soon as Jimmy walks away, Tim starts shooting down all of Sean’s suggestions of things they could do together. Jimmy doesn’t realize this, so of course when he sits down a little ways away and sees Sean doing his monster movie impression, we immediately go into a montage of “Sean and Jimmy friendship moments.” Once Tim gets up and leaves, Jimmy and Sean both acknowledge they’ve missed each other, and the dynamic duo is back together.
More rooming switchups: Jimmy moves back in with Sean, so either Max can try to get along with Alex or Tim will move in, and Alex it is. Max’s “apology” to Alex is letting him know that Ashley’s been looking for him - as that was the cause of their fight, the ensuing bro hug is cute, but actually saying the words “I’m sorry” might have been nice, too.
On the deck, Cassidy asks Tamira how the date went, and Tamira is none too thrilled. She accuses Cassidy of setting it all up, and when all Cassidy can say is, “Oh, come on, I set you up with a major player,” Tamira is justifiably angry that, instead of being everything she’d dreamed of, her first date was a pity date. Cassidy’s optimistic that Eric might actually really like Tamira; Tamira says she doesn’t know how to face him and still keep her dignity knowing what she does, but when Eric comes up and says “There’s my little Picasso, want to play some b-ball?” she immediately smiles at him and says “Yeah, sure.” Ashley then comes up in a bikini and asks Eric to put sunscreen on her, and he ignores her in favor of Tamira. And then the cherry on top: The episode ends with two girls watching Tamira and wishing they could be like her. Oh, teenage hormones.
Don’t change that channel! We’ll be right back on Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown.
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